Dr. James Henry Windibank's Journal Entry the second

14th May, 1838

I have safely arrived twixt the boarders of the United States of America, England's bastard daughter nation. Upon stepping off of the steamshippe Great Western, my first feeling was one of great offense at the hands (or heads, rather) of the Americans. The men frequently remove their hats when out of doors, and the women occasionally do not even wear hats.

I did not come to this country to have my eyes forever scorched with the visage of ostensible pornography through the viewing of people refusing to wear hats. (Keep in mind that this is out of doors.) Had I wanted to see people without hats, I could have travelled to Constantinople.

I am furious. I cannot write now.

Incidentally, I need a new hat.