Writings: Fresh from our pen to yours.

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Looks like a jokes website has an opinion about politics.

The Bay City Bomber's 2006 Promotion Schedule
Get your season tickets before it's too late!

Dr. James Henry Windibank's journal preface
The introduction to the legendary Windibank journals of the United States.

Dr. James Henry Windibank's journal entry the first
Dr. Windibank begins his journey to the new world on board the good ship Great Western.

Dr. James Henry Windibank's journal entry the second
Dr. Windibank is very offended.

Dr. Wily's Memo
For an evil super-genius, this should have been pretty obvious.

An Electronic Message
Noel Rosencranz-Engleman III wrote this phone-call.

Essay on Indiana Jones
Can you name even one movie that is better than Indiana Jones? Didn't think so.

From a concerned neighbhor
Can YOU take me higher?

The Guru
A lone boy's quest for the truth.

Halloween Costume Summary
A summary of the costumes one sees on a typical Halloween night.

The history of sherpas
An accurate history of a proud and ancient people.

How I met Rowdy Roddy Piper
Another lesson in the logic of fifth grader Martin Dobbs.

The Ides of April
Get out your calendar. Use a pen.

Important Discovery Through Use of Toxins
Important Discovery Regarding Micro-Evolution of Species (Through Use of Toxins).

Know Your Weapons
Wooden Robot weapons expert Todd Logan reviews the best in weaponry.

The Last Will and Testament of H.D. Moldenauer, Sr.
In which we discover one man's desire for a lasting legacy. Includes testicles.

A letter from the FCC
Retro humor jokes.

A Letter to the funky bunch
Marking the end of the era of good vibrations.

M. Night Shyamalan's Stuff
M. Night Shyamalan's effect on stuff other than movies.

Marla's Doctor
Thank God for the house of records.

Movie Review Review
The Wooden Robot provides reviews of some of this week's top movie reviews.

My Iliad
Karl reveals part one of Achilles' sweet bachelor party.

New Message
Sometimes our spam-blocker lets slip through a gem.

A New Poem by James Buffet
The next installment of Eli Johnson's materful poetic adaptations.


Questionnaire to determine football readiness
We were required to fill these out before watching the super bowl.

A rejected script from some stupid film festival
We've all seen films like this; there's a reason film festivals have an entry fee.

Sensitive Pizza Document Intercepted
We bust the novelty pizza rollout scheme wide open.

Some facts about Rex Harrison
Little known facts about a very multi-faceted individual.

Some things that are almost palindromes
I doubt any further explanation is needed.

A Summary of the message of all art ever made.
Concise. Poignant.

To Jill Bunches, Age 9
A teachable moment.

Television vs. Culture
Unfortunately, culture doesn't win.

Things I'd Like to Get Off My Chest
Stephan, Apt. 332, would really appreciate it if you could help him releive some guilt.

Times Select
Some people pay money to learn things this cute and self-contained.

Transcript from A recent meeting of the International Simile Committee
The title pretty much sums it up.

What I did this summer
Martin Dobbs regales us with tales of months six through eight.

Wooden Robot Dice Review
Some differently-shaped dice and the life decisions you can make with them