If M. Night Shyamalan could extend his influence to other aspects of society

In an important medical experiment, Shyamalan will give two groups of terminally ill patients a pill to take every day. One group will be given an experimental medication, while another will receive a placebo. After showing considerable improvement for months on end, all members of the experimental group will suddenly die. Everyone will be shocked when they realize that the experimental medication was actually just a sugar pill, while the placebo was, in fact, a very potent and effective new drug capable of curing the disease.

On the 11:00 o'clock news, lead anchor Shyamalan will begin each night with the top story; this will typically be the event in the news that had the greatest significance or broadest scope and scale. However, twenty minutes in to the broadcast, viewers will be astonished to learn that another event had actually taken place that was both more pressing and relevant, and that the so-called "top story" was only a build-up to the real "top story," which is revealed in the last eight minutes of the news.

On a Friday evening, Mr. M. Night will call up a classy restaurant to make dinner reservations for him and his girlfriend. After telling the host the number of people in his party and the time he would like to dine, M. Night will then give his last name. Everyone will be astounded to learn that the restaurant M. Night has called is not Indian.

In the summer of 2006, M. Night Shyamalan will release a film about a craft travelling through space carrying four survivors from a destroyed star ship. The passengers must work together to piece together a mystery and get home safely. At the end of the film, theatre-goers will be amazed to discover that all of the facts presented early in the story remained consistent throughout, and that the movie lacks any sort of mind-bending twist or unforeseen plot-turns.